


Specklefeather's Destiny

by SilverWinterr



Series: Stories from Falling Leaves [2]
Category: Original Work, Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Attempted Abortion, Blood and Gore, Brainwashing, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Child Abuse, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Kidnapping, Manipulation, Murder, Post-Canon, WindClan (Warriors), beta? never heard of her, its not graphic, ok someone tries to kill an unborn kit as punishment, servitude, thats it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:53:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25920889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverWinterr/pseuds/SilverWinterr
Summary: The clans have fallen. There are only ruins left where they once stood, yet some cats still hold tightly in the hope that they can rebuild. In the ruins of Windclan, one such group of cats barely hold on, growing more desperate by the day. A young cat named Morning grows up in this desperation-turned-abuse, with only one light the the end of a dark road - her Starclan guide, who promises her a better life, if only she stays put. But Morning want nothing more then to run away from her miserable life...Best if read after Redthorn's Vengeance.
Series: Stories from Falling Leaves [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1881139
Kudos: 3





	1. Morning

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this one a while ago and kind of rushed through it, but I thought it would be worthwhile to post. This story does get pretty dark in places, dealing with the kidnapping and mental breaking of a character, and there's literally no ups in this story. It just keeps getting worse, oops. But, anyways, I hope you enjoy this mess!

The strong prey on the weak.

That was the first lesson that Morning learned when she was a child. She was the weak and those beyond the walls of camp were the strong.

Mistysky always said that _they_ were the strong, because they were Windclan. They lived in Windclan camp. They lived on Windclan territory, hunted Windclan prey, lived together as Windclan once did...but Morning understood, just as Moon’s Shadow did. They were not Windclan.

Windclan could protect their territory, but they could not. Rogues constantly stole from their land, took residence inside the borders. And when they tried to chase them out...they failed.

Windclan cared for each other, but they did not. Mistysky desperately tried to cling to old clan ideologies, but the rest were barely more than rogues. Their leader, Cloud (that Mistysky stubbornly called Cloudstar), neglected his “clan”, spending most of his time alone, eating prey that they brought him, and shrugged off duties to the far more eager Mistysky.

Windclan had faith. Only two of them did now. Their ancestors had been utterly forgotten, abandoned. Nobody had even bothered to visit the Moonpool in seasons.

Windclan spoke with Starclan. They did not.

Well...all but one.

Shouting jerked Morning awake, although it wasn’t exactly surprising. It was like this every morning. Every day. Continuously.

“Get off my back, Mistysky, if I want to eat then I’ll eat!”

“The clan comes first! Elders and kits need to be fed before the warriors!”

“I don’t give a shit about some crotchy old elder sitting around doing nothing. I’m hungry so I’ll eat the prey _I_ caught whenever I like!”

“At least give a bit to Morningpaw first!”

“How many times do I have to tell you not to call her that? She’s not an apprentice and I’m not a warrior!”

Morning tuned them out after that, curling in on herself and trying to press down on her ears as their argument escalated. Though she still couldn’t block out the cry of pain when Moon’s Shadow finally snapped and swiped at her mate.

Morning tensed up. Now that Mistysky had lost the fight, as he always did, he’d come for her. She trembled a bit as the padding of pawsteps got closer and closer and

She felt a nudge at her side, a soft nose pushing against her fur. “It’s time to get up, Morningpaw. Time to train.”

Morning shook her head, burrowing in tighter into herself.

The nudge was more insistent. “Morningpaw, come on. If you want to survive you need to be able to fight for your clan!”

Morning trembled. “I don’t like fighting,” she squeaked, but that was the wrong thing to say when teeth suddenly burrowed into her scruff. She yelped as Mistysky suddenly jerked her away from her nest, dragging her out of the den. She clawed at the ground, trying to stop him, but it was no use. He was way stronger than her.

“Stop it! I don’t wanna train!” She cried and cried all the way out of the den, struggling furiously in Mistysky’s grip, but he only held on tighter.

“Why are you so stubborn?” Mistysky growled around her fur. “I’m trying to do what’s best for you!”

She suddenly felt him tug sharply, throwing her against the ground. “Get up. Fight me, Morningpaw. You need to be a better apprentice.”

Morning struggled to her paws, but not fast enough to dodge Mistysky suddenly ramming into her from the side. She yelped and tumbled away, struggling to get back on her feet.

“Faster!” Mistysky snarled. “You need to be faster if you want to be a Windclan warrior!”

Morning shivered and scrambled back up to her feet, but she wasn’t fast enough to dodge his next attack either.

He continued like this for a while, attacking her with brutal force, too fast to dodge, not relenting for a single second. She got better at it as they went on, able to at least move before he hit her, but she never once was able to get in an attack on her own.

The sun was past its peak by the time Mistysky stopped and walked away, leaving Morning panting on the ground, every inch of her body aching. He scoffed as he walked by. “Another disappointing training session.” There was something in his voice - almost fear, desperation, anxiety, and Morning felt an overwhelming sense of shame. She was failing him. All he wanted was to keep the clans alive, but she didn’t want it like this.

She didn’t want to hurt all the time. She didn’t want to be an apprentice if this was what it was like. She wanted the clans back too because all the stories He told her about sounded amazing, incredible. But if it was going to be like this…

She’d rather they just die.

Tears collected at her eyes and began running down her cheeks as she crawled back to the den, feet trembling beneath her. She was exhausted and starving and all she wanted to do was eat something and curl in her nest, even though there was still plenty of the day left.

She poked her head into the den and, to her surprise, found a rabbit laying next to the nest. Had somebody brought that for her? Maybe Moon’s Shadow had felt bad after all about not giving her any prey? It was unlikely...or maybe Mistysky had? Or someone else...it didn’t matter, though. She was so hungry she didn’t care.

She padded forward and lowered her head, taking her first bite of the prey, sighing softly as the flavors exploded in her mouth. She was reaching down for a second bite when there was a sudden sound behind her.

Morning was about to glance back when there was suddenly a hiss and she felt a weight slam into her side, claws scraping down her flank. She screeched as she was thrown to the side of the den, eyes desperately searching for her attacker. The dark gray pelt of Moon’s Shadow stood above her, lip curled angrily.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she snarled. “That’s _my_ prey! Go and catch your own, you useless bitch!” She leaned down and grabbed the rabbit, taking to her own corner to scarf it down, avoiding Morning’s gaze.

The young cat hung her head with shame. Of course it was her prey. She should have guessed that. But she was so tired, she didn’t think she would be able to catch anything at all. So she just curled up, settling in her nest and staring at the den walls.

_”Ah, little one…”_

Her heart sped up and the gentlest of smiles touched her face as a shimmering figure appeared before her. “You came,” she breathed as softly as possible.

_”I will always come...for you…”_

The figure leaned over and brushed its muzzle gentle against her ear. She held back a purr at the cold touch of the Starclan cat. _”You’re doing great, Morning. You are so strong. Hang in there, okay? Things will be better one day.”_

She blinked at it, tears once again pricking at the corners of her eyes. “W-when? When will they be better? I don’t want to live like this…”

“Shut up, idiot,” Moon’s Shadow snarled suddenly, causing Morning to flinch and pull her ears back, but the Starclan cat was unphased, sitting next to her and pressing around her. They were cold, but she didn’t mind. It was gentle and that was all that mattered to her.

_“Soon. I promise. You only have to stay here. Stay here and trust in me, okay? I will never lead you astray.”_

She nodded, slowly, trying to force herself to believe. She believed in the Starclan cat, she loved them with all her heart because they were the only one that cared about her. They were the only ones that touched her so gently, that spoke to her so kindly, that gave her comfort when she needed it most.

“I will,” she promised.

Her eyes slipped shut as she rested her head against the cat’s body. She slowly drifted to sleep, never feeling their presence disappear until she was released to the comforting embrace of unconsciousness.


	2. Time Passing

Time passed, crawling on like wounded prey, and each day was another torment for Morning. Mistysky hurt her, took all of his frustrations out on the young cat and called it training. Moon’s Shadow continued to ignore her, taking bits of food from her, the best feathers from her nest, and then swiped at her when she tried to take it back.

It was misery. Morning hated every second of it.

But he kept telling her to stay. Be strong. Stay with them. _Stay here and trust in me._

So she did, because she trusted him more than anyone else. He was there to comfort her when she cried, he was there to sooth the wounds that Mistysky inflicted on her. He was always there for her, telling her that she was strong.

If it hadn’t been for him, she would have gone insane a long time ago. She would have ripped out her hair and cut her father’s gut open the next time he hurt her. She would have ripped out her mother’s throat if she’d tried to take another bite of prey that was rightfully hers. She kept her sanity, though, and kept calm and quiet. As it stood, though, she was walking a fine line. Sometimes it felt like she was going crazy, like if she spent another second in this Starclan-forsaken camp she was going to snap and someone would get hurt.

But he always calmed those impulses. He was always there to whisper in her here. _Keep them down. Keep them hidden. It is better if you don’t feel them at all._

“Okay,” she would whisper back and try everything she could to keep her sanity in check.

But it wasn’t going to last.

The day at last came when the last strings of her patience finally snapped. Nothing particularly special happened - it was just another day, perhaps a little rougher than most. One of the lingering cats of what was once Windclan had left early in the morning and had never returned and Mistysky was desperate. He needed a clan, he needed warriors, and Morning was the only one that would take his training, and only because she had no choice.

It was a brutal morning. He wouldn’t relent, he didn’t give her any openings to catch her breath, hysteria bringing his paws down faster and faster and faster, beating her into the ground until she felt it. She almost felt that lingering ghost of patience breaking and shattering to pieces in her mind.

One more blow to the head and she saw red. She screamed and sprang forward, taking Mistysky by complete surprise. She wasn’t Morning anymore, or Morningpaw as he so insisted. She was a wild animal, feral and savage and she showed no mercy to the father she so despised.

She tore out clumps of fur, claws digging into skin. She could feel, distantly, the sharp pinpricks of claws tearing at her ears and shoulders, but he was so shocked by her outburst that he couldn’t defend against her initial assault. And that was all she needed.

It was just another strike, just another bite, not aimed towards any particular place, but hitting in the perfect spot. Jaws lunged forward blindly and sunk right into his throat, tearing up without hesitation before diving back down to shred another path of skin. He gurgled and coughed up blood as she continued to brutalize him and went silent only a moment later.

She continued to rip him to shreds long after he had died.

Only when she came to her senses again, when that red died away, did she stop. At first, she didn’t know what she was looking at, just a mess of red and white with specks of gray littered unevenly across. But then she realized, as she looked closer, what she’d done.

He wasn’t recognizable as a cat anymore. She’d torn all the way to the bone, his ribcage exposed, the corner of his unmoving heart visible beneath an ocean of blood. His head was mostly intact, but she could barely see his fur beneath the gore splattered across his face.

She was frozen with shock before she looked down at herself. Her entire lower half was covered with blood and viscera, her claws dripping. Her stomach flipped as the stench his her nose and she scrambled off of him and deposited the little she had to eat earlier onto the grass next to him.

She trembled, her mind running second by second as she tried to process what had happened. What to _do_. She couldn’t go back. She couldn’t go home. Not to the camp, especially not like this, not to her mother, no, no they’d kill her. They’d see her as a monster!

She needed to leave.

_No. Don’t do it, Morning. Stay. It will be okay. Without Mistysky, your life will be easier, I promise. Stay with Windclan._

She shook her head erratically. “No, no way I can’t. I can’t stay here, don’t make me!”

_Please...please, Morning. Stay._

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, tears welling in her eyes. She was about to look back for a second but caught her head halfway into the turn. She couldn’t...no, she couldn’t look at him. Not again. Not ever. No _no_.

“I have to go. I’m sorry.”

She felt a sense of disappointment and worry from the cat, but she pushed past it despite how much it broke her heart. She got to her feet and wobbled away, building up speed until she was sprinting away, out of Windclan’s “territory”, to go to places unknown where she would never have to face what she’d done.


	3. New World

She didn’t know how far she’d run before her legs burned too much to carry her any farther. She panted, breath barely making it into her lungs, every inch of her body aching from the run. The world around her seemed unfamiliar and strange, mostly open fields with the lone cluster of trees here and there. She was completely and utterly lost but she realized that she was actually okay with that.

At least she wasn’t back _there_.

After a while, she stopped running, panting and completely out of breath, sitting down to take a breather as the sun slowly began to set over the horizon. After a few minutes she realized that she’d need to find some kind of shelter for the night or else she’d be exposed to whatever kind of wildlife roamed out here.

She searched the plains, nosing into the bushes every so often until she found a good patch of brambles and ferns that would provide good protection. She stepped into it and, not bothering to make a nest, laid down and fell to sleep immediately. Her dreams that night were full of blood and screams and the disappointed gaze of her Starclan guide.

A quiet snap jerked her awake. She blinked open her eyes and raised her head, heart beginning to speed up in her chest. Someone was closeby.

Carefully, she peered out through the ferns towards the place where the sound had come from, but nobody was there. The moon was shining down overhead, full enough to create enough light to see, but she couldn’t spot anyone in front of her. She watched for a moment, in case she’d missed something, before pulling her head back in.

Before she could get settled down again, however, the bushes behind her exploded. She screamed and scrambled forward, but a heavy weight slammed down on her back. “Oooo, now what do we have here? A poor little kitten alone in the wild?”

“Hey, String, what did you find?” Another voice called out from behind the ferns and the cat behind Morning called back, “Some kid! Looks like she’s alone.”

Morning struggling beneath him, trying to throw him off, adrenaline rushing swiftly through her veins, but he had her trapped.

“Ah, ah, none of that now. Come on, you’ll be coming with us.” His weight began to disappear from her back, but she couldn’t get free before his teeth fixed into her scruff. He pulled her back, dragging her from the ferns.

She screeched and dug her claws into the dirt, trying to stop him from taking her, but she couldn’t stop him. She tried to reach ahead to get her claws in his pelt, but she couldn’t twist the right way.

The instant he dropped her on the ground, she bolted to her feet and tried to run, but found her path blocked in every direction by cats.

They were all big, scarred, and looked pretty mean. There were around ten of them in all.

“What should we do with her?” One of them asked.

“I say we just toss her out. What do we need with a little mouse like her?”

“She could be fun to keep around.”

“We don’t need another mouth to feed!”

“We don’t gotta feed her much, just enough to live will be fine!”

“What are you gonna do with her?”

“Ah you know, sometimes it’s nice just to get your claws in something that’s not prey, you know?”

Morning flinched at that and backed away, only to run into a couple of the other rogues that just pushed her back in the middle.

“Awwww, she doesn’t like that!”

“I guess I’m okay with keeping her around. We could put her to work too. Hunting, cleaning, keeping us nice and cozy?”

“I kinda just like watching her fumble around like this! She’s real cute!”

“Alright then let’s get going. You got a name, girl?”

Morning took a second to realize that he was talking to her. “M-m-morning…”

She felt claws suddenly prick her back and she screeched, turning around to face one of the bigger rogues that was smiling at her, claws coated in blood. “Wrong. You don’t have a name anymore, got it? We’ll refer to you as whatever you like and you’ll comply. Understand?”

Morning stared at him with wide eyes and shook her head. “N-no, no I-” She squealed again when the cat slashed across her face this time. “Understand?!”

She was shaking, terrified, and the last thing she wanted to do was cooperate, but she was too scared to refuse them so she nodded her head slowly. The rogues broke into amused murmurs and began to move off, pushing her along with them.

The cat that had hit her smirked and moved to the front of the pack. Morning was forced to stumble along near the back, with a couple of rogues at her heels to make sure she didn’t flee.

She felt sick, fearing for whatever these rogues had in store for her.


	4. The Rogue

She didn’t know how much time passed. It felt like an eternity that she was with the rogues. They treated her horribly. Barely feeding her enough to survive and making her work - cleaning out their bedding and their dirt, collecting moss for their nests, checking for predators, hunting for food that she couldn’t eat. She couldn’t run away either, there was always someone watching her. 

When she wasn’t working, she was resting in the pitiful little space that they offered for her at the front of their den, right where the wind got in her fur and made it hard to sleep. Her bedding was usually leftovers that she managed to scrounge from what was left after they took the rest. Sometimes she didn’t sleep on anything, only the cold, hard ground.

But the worst part...the _worst part_...was the pain. She didn’t know what was up with these guys. She didn’t know why they took so much pleasure in it, but they liked to hurt her. Scratch her back and laugh at her while she was writhing in pain. Scream at her, demean her, abuse her until she was crying and shivering in the corner and then laugh like it was all some big joke. When they got really riled up, they’d force her to fight one of the others and they never went easy on her, ripping open wound after wound as if she were some trespasser. But never enough to let her die. No, they always at least had the courtesy of patching her up.

And any time she tried to fight back or talk back or do _anything_ for herself, she was only met with more claws, more screams, more torment, until, at last, she gave up. She died. Her soul was crushed, shattered, ruined, and made a plaything by these sadistic monsters.

She forgot her name. She forgot her life. She forgot _everything_ except for this life. The life as a slave living for these rogues. Everything was for them. Everything was about them. She only lived for the moments of peace they gave her which became like bliss to her bruised and beaten body. Just the simple peace of being alone in the quiet of the night made her feel as happy as the stars. A moment to rest and rejuvenate before it was back to brutal work.

Perhaps that’s why his kindness felt like a whole new world had been opened up before her. When he first used a gentle tone, she at first thought she was going insane. She flinched back and recoiled from him so he walked away. But then the next day, he did it again. He brought her prey - a bigger piece then she was normally allowed - and gave her a small smile. The next day he hunted with her and didn’t slice her shoulders open for missing a rabbit, only encouraging her to try again. The next day, he brought her fresh bedding and helped her build a proper nest. The next day, she spoke to him for the first time.

“Why are you doing this for me?”

He paused. “I...I don’t know. I guess I just feel...terrible for what has been happening to you. I’m sorry I never stepped up sooner. I always told them that it was cruel what they were doing to you but they never listened to me.”

She stared at him and nodded, falling silent once again.

The little moments she spent with him...that was the other thing keeping her alive. The moments when she could sit with him and talk to him. Learn about his life, his family, the world out there...she didn’t really talk back - after all, she had nothing to say. But it was nice just to listen.

He was kind to her. He was good to her. He loved her. And she loved him back.

And one night, she gave up her peace and her time to be alone to go walk with him under the stars. To be together properly, away from the eyes of the other rogues, to play in the grasses, to laugh and be friends. Or, perhaps, more than friends. They did that for a number of nights, always returning before the rest of the rogues woke up.

It happened one day. It was a normal day. Or, at least, as normal as days could get around here. She felt something stirring in her stomach. Like something was kicking the inside of her body.

Her heart dropped to her stomach.

She took him out that night, but instead of playing in the grass or looking at the stars with him, she stopped.

He looked back, his smile fading away and replaced with confusion. “What’s wrong?”

She looked up, fear sparkling in her eyes. “I’m expecting kits.”


	5. Upside Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter with the "Attempted Abortion" tag, but it's not graphic, more as a mention of a plan. Still, just as a warning, it happens at "One of the cats turned to her, chest covered with blood".

“Alright so you know where you’re going to go.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll make sure to get you some prey before we go out patrolling. You’ll be strong enough for the journey.”

“Okay.”

“Remember, run to the pool I told you about. Jump in and then go in the direction we talked about.”

“Okay.”

“And when you get there, wait for only one day. If I don’t turn up by then, or if you see anyone else, you run.”

“...Okay.”

He sighed and pressed his muzzle against hers and she pressed back, anxiety fluttering at her heart. She just wanted to be with him. Here or there, it didn’t matter. She could endure the abuse if only he were at her side. She could endure the hate and the pain as long as she had him. But if the rogues realized that she was pregnant, they’d kill him. There was no mercy among them. So she had to leave before it became noticeable.

It was going as planned - he made sure to bring her a bit of extra prey during eating hour and then, when it was time, they left together to patrol the territory’s borders.

They took it normally around the ring, until they reached the agreed spot. They’d start a trail heading one way for the rogues to follow while she ran the other way. They turned to each other and nodded before bounding over the territory line until they reached the pool of clear, cold water.

She looked back at him, tears glistening in her eyes. It hurt so much to leave him, only for a day, not knowing what was going to happen, but the warmth, the confidence in his eyes, it calmed her down in a moment. “Come to me quickly, okay?”

“I will.” He leaned forward and brushed his nose over her cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she breathed back, eyes closed as they embraced.

“Oh, well isn’t that nice.”

Her heart jumped and her eyes snapped open. The rogues...they were here. Stepping out of the grasses and surrounding the two of them. One of them lunged forward and talked him, pinning him to the ground as he cried out.

“No!” she shouted, lunging forward, but someone grabbed her scruff and dragged her back.

One of the bigger cats stalked forward, lip curled. “So, you thought you’d have a little fun with our pet here, did ya? You dirty FREAK.” On the last word he kicked him hard and a loud snap told her that he’d broken his jaw. The rest of the rogues laughed as he howled with pain. “You thought we wouldn’t notice your little moonlit strolls? The bitch’s swelling belly? Do you think we’re idiots?!”

He only glared at him, spitting and hissing. The cat only snarled back.

“Tear the maggot apart.”

The rogues didn’t need telling twice. She was forced to watch as they descended on him, their claws reaching to tear out a bit of his flesh, she was forced to hear his screams as they ripped him to pieces. Blood splattered on her muzzle, but she was frozen with shock, watching as her life was torn away in front of her eyes. By the time they were done with him...there was barely anything left.

She didn’t realize she was crying until a teardrop fell from her chin.

One of the cats turned to her, chest covered with blood, a look of disgust on his face. “It wasn’t just him, we need to punish her too!”

“Yeah! Let’s have her fight for the rest of the night!”

“No way!” One of them pushed through the crowd, eyes bright and wide and crazed, a smile splitting his face. “Not good enough! We should split her belly open!”

There was a great burst of laughter from the rogues and she something akin to an electrical shock travelling up her whole body. She immediately began struggling against the cat holding her down. “NO! NO, PLEASE!!”

“SHUT UP!” He screeched as he paced forward. He pushed off the cat holding her and rolled her onto her back, pinning her down. She thrashed and struggled and tried to throw him off, but he was holding her tight to the ground. He raised a paw, ready to bring it down on her swollen stomach.

This was the end. He was going to kill her, or at least, all that remained of the cat inside. She’d be nothing after this, only a husk. He’d given her life again, and their children had given her hope. They’d taken him from her, her life. And now they’d take her hope as well.

She closed her eyes and sucked in a breath, preparing for the excruciating pain that was sure to follow.

But before his claws could come down, there was a loud screech. Her eyes snapped open just in time to see an absolutely outrageous, unexpected sight.

He was still on top of her, but the arm that had been raised was completely torn off. There wasn’t even a stump left, only a hole on the side of his body spraying blood. He stared at it with shock before he screeched and fell off of her, falling to the ground and screaming at the top of his lungs. A moment later, he was silenced as a wound suddenly slashed across his neck and he collapsed completely to the ground.

The other rogues watched with shock before one of them reared back with a yowl, claws marks aross his face. As soon as his neck was exposed, a wound scourged itself across his throat, so deep that it almost tore his head clean off. The other rogues began to panic, backing away, yowling, trying to figure out what was going on. In the confusion, one of them had their tail ripped and their spine crushed off by this phantom force, another had his eyes scratched away and his heart ripped out. A couple more received injuries but fled before the killing blow came until she was left alone, sitting in a pool of blood, still recovering from shock and terror, heart hammering in her chest.

She looked up and over at the massacre around her but immediately looked away, closing her throat before she could vomit at the sight.

_”It’s okay. I am here for you.”_

The voice was familiar, so familiar, she could have sworn she’d heard it before, that she knew it well. And then...he appeared there. Her Starclan guide. The one part of her memory still left intact. And she felt a world of relief crashing down, so hard that tears spilled freely from her eyes and she howled as she pushed forward to collapse at his feet. “You saved me,” she sobbed. “Thank you. _Thank you.”_

He purred and leaned down to nuzzle the top of her head. _”Everything is alright now, my dear. We will never be parted again.”_


	6. Loneliness

She followed him away from that place. Far away, until they reached the safety of trees where she collapsed, exhausted and starving. He purred and whispered encouragement in her ears, catching her food while she rested and waited.

Once she’d been fed, watered, and put down to rest for the night, she looked up at her guide, eyes glimmering with sadness. “You told me,” she croaked. “You told me to stay. Did you know that this would happen?”

The Starclan warrior was silent for a moment before he sighed. _“No, dear one. I know that some horrors might befall you without my protection, but I did not know what they were._

_He did, indeed, stay with her, and helped her deliver her kit alone. From the stress of the abuse and of the run, only one of them survive, but she loved the little one with all of her heart, all of her being, and swore to do everything she could to protect him._

_As she purred and licked the top of her young one’s head, she felt the presence of the warrior manifest at her side. _”He is beautiful.”__

_“He is,” she purred._

__“What are you going to name him?”_ _

_She paused and looked at the little kitten. “I don’t know yet. Why don’t you name him?”_

__”Me?”_ The warrior sounded surprised. He went silent for a moment before he answered. _”His fur is sandy brown, like his fathers. Like the scales of a snake.”__

_A grin spread across her face. “Then I’ll call him Snake!”_

__”Snakekit.”_ _

_Her smile faltered. “But...we’re not part of a clan. What’s the point of giving him a clan name?”_

__”You will be part of a clan soon enough.”_ _

_She looked surprised. “What do you mean? There’s no clans around here. You told me that the clan I came from died off.”_

__”They did. But there are other clans that will protect you. It will be a dangerous road and I will have to leave you for some of it, but you will make it. Once you are there, I can guide you fully, instead of as merely a shadow of a whisper.”_ _

_She looked unsure for a second, but taking a glance around her and she knew that she would not survive out here. Not all alone with a kit to take care of. And the last time she didn’t do what the Starclan warrior had said...all of this had happened._

_She sighed and nodded. “When Snakekit is old enough to travel, we’ll go.”_

_So she waited, raised the young kit until he could walk on his own and she could teach him to hunt. Until she thought he was ready to make the journey._

_The Starclan warrior appeared and Snakekit let out a squeal, as he always did, impressed by his sudden appearance. She nodded. “We’re ready.”_

_He purred his presence shifted. He raised a paw and pointed in a direction. _”Continue this way until you find them. They’re hard to miss - four big clans gathered together once again. It will be a long journey.”__

_She nodded, swallowing her fear. “I’m ready.” She took a step forward, Snakekit bounding around her feet. “Are we going, mama? For real?!” She smiled and leaned down to nuzzle him. “Yes, dear one. We’re going.” They set off, taking it at an easy pace for now, but Snakekit couldn’t help but whiz around on the ground in front of her. “Oh, boy, I’m so excited to meet the clans! I’ll bet I’m gonna make tons of friends, what do you think?”_

_“I think they’ll love you,” she purred._

_For a while, as they walked, the Starclan warrior walked with them, but after some time passed, he disappeared. She was alone with Snakekit - she felt vulnerable, exposed without him, and it terrified her, but she trusted that he would be waiting for her._

_And so they made the journey and it was as hard as he had warned her it would be. It was long, brutal, but Snakekit endured it like a trooper. He pushed ahead, even when the heat became unbearable, even when the prey was scarce. And when leaf-fall came, he pushed through the cold._

_But then leaf-bare swept across their path and the temperatures dropped far too low and they froze together. They sheltered where they could, did their best to warm each other, but Snakekit wasn’t ready for the weather. He’d never had to fight through snow or suffer the meager prey the winter offered to them. He fell behind more often, he didn’t pipe up as much. His ears always drooped and fell behind him as he walked._

_And, one day, there was a blizzard that they fought through the day. They were exhausted and freezing and hungry and after a few hours of trying to struggle through the snow, she gave it up. “We have to find shelter!” she yelled over the storm._

_But when she looked back, Snakekit was nowhere in sight._

_She blinked. “Snakekit?” She stumbled back, looking around frantically, fear increasing her pulse dramatically. “SNAKEKIT!”_

_She screamed his name into the storm. She yelled and howled and searched until the sun began to set when, at last, she caught the sight of brown amongst the white._

_She bolted over to Snakekit and nosed his cold pelt. “Come on, baby, let’s get up. We can make it to shelter.”_

_But Snakekit didn’t stir. She nudged him harder. “Snakekit?! Come on, wake up!”_

_As she pushed harder, she realized that the chill wasn’t just on his fur. His whole body was cold and he was stiff. Her heart skipped a beat as the realization washed over her. “No...no this isn’t happening. No no no no” She continued to shake him and shake him, as if he’d wake up from death, but nothing was working._

_She pulled him close and screamed into his fur as the storm raged around her and she was, once again, alone._


	7. Religion

She finished the journey. Of course she did. She wasn’t going to give it up, but she had to leave him behind. She had to bury his body in the snow to freeze and then thaw for the carrion crows to have his remains. But she had to finish the journey. Because if she was alone for another minute, then she would be in danger as well. Then she would die. Because she could not do anything alone.

She needed him.

When, at last, she finished her journey, when she stood on a hill that gave her a view of the forest and the plains and the bush-dotted fields, he came to her.

_”You made it.”_

She turned to greet him, purring and touching noses. “I missed you,” she breathed.

_”...I am sorry about Snakekit.”_

She pulled back with a gentle smile. “Don’t be. I know why he died.”

_”Oh? And why did he die?”_

She sighed softly. “Because you were not with me. I did a lot of thinking while I travelled alone. And I realized that bad things only ever happen when you’re not with me. When I left the clan, bad things happened. When I left on the journey, bad things happened. I am only safe where you can watch me.”

He didn’t respond to this, only watched her intensely.

And she bowed her head to him, sitting on the grass before him. “I owe you everything. My life. My sanity. My memories. I don’t know what I’d be without you. I am yours - from now on, I swear, I’ll live for you because I have nothing else but the debt I must repay.”

He was silent for a little while longer before he leaned down to touch the top of her head. _“Thank you. I will protect you, as long as you life, and, in return, you must do something for me.”_

She looked up eagerly. “What is it?”

_”You will bring back the old ways to these new clans.”_

Her eyes widened. “Me? Bring back the old ways? But...I don’t remember the old ways! I told you, I c-can’t remember anything…”

He shushed her with his tail. _”It’s alright. I will teach you. It was always your destiny - to be of the last of the clans, to bring our ways here, where they’ve forgotten all that is important to them. It’s only an...unfortunate roadblock that you lost your memory. But we will stay here for some time and I will give you all of my knowledge of the life you lived as a child and the ways of the clan that your family tried to keep alive. The knowledge that you have been destined to bring here”_

She nodded, feeling her heart warm and her head feel light at the thought that she had such an important destiny. “I’ll do my best. Thank you.”

He smiled and touched his nose to her head. _”For now, you must rest. I will see you in the morning and we will begin.”_

She purred and stood. “Thank you. For everything.” She turned away but then paused, thinking of something that she’d been meaning to ask him. “Wait…”

She looked back at him. “I...I never gave myself a name.”

He blinked. _”No...you did not.”_

“Will you name me?”

He stared at her long and hard, almost confused, but then understanding. She sighed with relief. Whatever name she had before that she couldn’t remember, she didn’t want it. No, she only wanted a name given by the one that she had given her life to.

_”I will think of a good one and tell you in the morning.”_

She purred. “Thank you.” This time, when she turned away, he disappeared and she trotted over the hillside to find a place to rest.

…

He blinked open his eyes, returning from the world of the living and arriving back in a forest forever veiled in shadow. The oily grass, the trees stripe bare, the moon never shining down from the nighttime sky. He sighed and stood, stretching his legs, laughing a little to himself, a smile curling high on his face.

“Well that went better than expected.” He looked back. A she-cat with a thick, matted pelt was stepping out from the underbrush, a frown heavily creasing her face. “Didn’t think she’d just. Hand her life over to you, just like that.”

“I was a little surprised as well. I mean, I expected her to be pretty grateful, maybe say that she was indebted to me, or that she never wanted to leave me again. It would somehow have come to this conclusion. This level of commitment, though,” he snorted, amused. “It’s better than I could have asked for.”

The she-cat rolled her eyes and sat down, raising a paw to begin grooming her face. “So, a name. That’s pretty big. You gonna give her some smart-ass copy-cat name like you did with the little twerp?”

He sat down as well, falling onto his stomach, tail curling up behind him. “Probably. It was almost therapeutic, watching him die in the snow like that and ripping apart the pitiful soul of a kid bearing the name of one of my enemies. Very satisfying. I’d imagine it’ll be even more pleasurable to be the stringmaster of one, serving as a puppet.”

“Then I think you already got your name, don’t ya think?”

He laughed. “Oh, I wish. But I’ve already seen him alive. Seems he decided now would be a good time to reincarnate, for whatever fucking reason. It might be suspicious if someone turned up with the same name.”

She paused in her grooming. “Then, uh, what’re you gonna call her?”

He thought for a moment, tapping a claw on his chin and then a smile spreading across his lips once again. “I think Specklefeather would do nicely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If the ending didn't make any sense, then you probably didn't read Redthorn's vengeance - Specklefeather is the name of one of Redthorn's enemies, the leader of Windclan after Redthorn helped him throw out their last leader, and who passed Redthorn up for deputy, which had him outraged and destabilized his already wavering sanity. Redthorn likes to name his pawns and tools after cats he hates.
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading! :) Comments are always appreciated!


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